1) *squirrel* aka Sam, our first young (yet nubile) MC
skinny, awkward, crazyass Sam.. I LOVE HIM
"He was TSTL. Stupid enough to investigate the locked fourth story of the manor house, where the human screams originated; stupid enough to run out onto the moors at night to find the howling wolves."
2) *bear laird* aka Ian, our second MC
Poor, naïve hero. He wouldn’t know what hit him when he finally fell in love. Sam almost felt sorry for him. Almost. It was hard to feel sorry for some bastard who was about to pat your head and dismiss you, soul mate or not.
3) Lots of HOT,OFF THE CHARTS, LADY(and man for that matter)BONER, I NEED TO CHANGE MY PANTIES SEX. Just get to the sucking Ian's balls part mentioned in my updates Sam adores sucking balls; but then again who doesn't?.
4)Lots of deliciously absurd thinking:
“You all right, kid?”
Kid? Oh! A pet name. “Um, yeah, think so.”
Unrequited love. The bane of the romance novelist. Although it led to a hell of a lot of successful plots.
Actually, it wasn’t so much the bane of the romance novelist as the bread and butter.
“So, Bert or Ernie?” Nik asked.
“Ernie for sure. Total top.” Sam threw his hand out for emphasis and knocked over the empty wine bottle. Empty bottles could be ignored. Jurgen picked it up.
“Definitely.” They nodded at each other in complete agreement for a few seconds. “They both have big noses, you know.
“I’m not stopping now. I cried over the onions.”
“Everyone cries when they chop onions.”
“It wasn’t that kind of crying. I cut myself.” Sam held up a hand, showing off a bandaged finger.
And you have a hilarious and hot read witch I adored!!!